"I wish I was in a greenhouse instead of writing lines."

Laughing with you was always real. Genuine, ever second of it.

I laugh now and my face hurts. My cheeks ache and I know it was never this way with you.

I honestly miss being able to laugh so obnoxiously. So loud, that's probably how the neighbors knew we were in love. Maybe even before I did.

The neighbors probably knew it from the start.

Slowly.

Always watching.                                           You know, neighbors.

The way we slowly would end up next to each other at any activity or class or choir practice. Everywhere.

Gravitation, yeah the neighbors probably saw it coming all along.

They could probably hear us through the grape vines they always manage to train around the interesting  places. They could probably hear us talking through every movie, every class, around the sleepy boy in choir, on your driveway, on mine, on your porch, on mine, on our dear bench. Everywhere. 

So many hours and not a single one felt wasted to either of us.

And there was once when the threats from our teachers to stop all that talking became a reality and we found ourselves sitting across from eachother outside the green house, writing lines and forbidden to speak.

"I wish I was in a greenhouse instead of writing lines."

"I wish I was in a greenhouse instead of writing lines."

"I wish I was in a greenhouse instead of writing lines."

It was then as I watched you writing those ridiculous words, sitting criss cross on the grass, that I realized... this isn't normal. Our friendship wasn't just the shallow, boy likes girl thing that our teacher viewed it as and our incredible ability to have a never ending conversation like that wasn't just exciting. It was so unique. 

And now it was obvious. The whole neighborhood saw it. You could see it. It seems that everyone knew to lay low and wait to see what happened next.

They could probably feel us as the urge to get closer and to hug and eventually to kiss got stronger when we were gonna just burst with love. That feeling has eventually come and stayed acting as a constant, but it wasn't always that way.

Our love was exploding. Buttons bursting, necklaces popping, beads spraying all over the floor, and buckles reaching their last holes. It was that way people talk about where true happiness totally takes you over and you are wanting every person alive to feel the exact same way you do. Bursting. Like I was the most gorgeous girl in the world. Make-up-less, T-shirt, dinosaur shorts and all. We felt so beautiful.

Somedays, bursting can feel more like a suction cup and somedays, I felt as if the whole neighborhood could feel it pulling us in. Making 'temptation' a harder word to me, but I think especially for you. Not in a big way to the world, but in a big way to us.

I like to think that's how most of our relationship was and I wonder if it will be the same when I see you again. That way we fell in love with how the other person viewed the world.
The most important things to us are still so small to the world but it makes me think that this is all the more special. We already matched up in that way before we even fell in love. I hope we still match up in every way, differences, similarities and our odd habits as the total weirdies we are.

GREAT BODIES

Sometimes I obsessively, stupidly call my voicemail to feel my heart pump when I hear his voice on the other end saying "..and I love you too"
To hear the messages he left to tell me it's raining outside.

On average, I've listened to those messages... 23 times.

I'm sketching pictures of us.

I'm writing songs about us.

Positive now? I feel inspiration coming to me through him. 

or the lack of..

It's late.
What? No it's not.

I've been really trying to write about something other than him, but the only alternative I could think of was writing about Christmas or the end of Phyllis. I can't get excited for Christmas yet. And just because Dick Tidrow left on Wednesday, doesn't mean I'm ready to throw Phyllis away.

It's weird to think that a new creative writing class will be posting away soon.

It's been fun.

-Phyllis

Here's an answer

I don't know you real well but I wouldn't mind knowing you better.
I wouldn't mind knowing you for the rest of my life. No big deal.

Huge deal.
You're different. You're the kind of girl that walks down the street and people would be wondering, looking out the windows, what your favorite soda is and if you think Audrey Hepburn was really that great of an actress.
They wonder if you write the rhyming kind of poetry and if your favorite kind of chocolate is dark.

I wonder how I could be invited to llama parties like you do and why you've perfected vibrato at only age 15.
It shouldn't be done but you're the kind of girl that could do "impossible".
And look good at the same time.

I love you and Man. And I love that you two are in Junior High. I love that you two love boys.

You make me so curious to know who you are in love with, I even pull off my shyness for a second to ask you. And that's a big deal.
I tried to ask while I ate pancakes, but you didn't hear me, but I'll probably try again later.

I know it's late, but here's an answer if you'll still take it,
I love you.