Winter Posts, never posted

I never stress but when I do stress I stress about becoming.

and I don't know much about you, but I do know about me.
               And, God, you know that every minute I'm trying everything I can to hold the tears in my eyes. Where they belong.

Because I'm so nervous.         But I'm just scared about letting you down. I'm always scared about letting you down, God.

            And I believe in Karma, God. I believe that if I sleep before I pray tonight, someone will ask me on a date tomorrow. and I don't want to go on a date.           I don't want to believe in raw superstition, but I do.

I never really stress, but when I do stress, I stress about "becoming". I worry that someday somebody might tell me about reality.                                 That, someday, someone will shatter this dream-world I live in.

and, God, this is all that I have.

I never speak for fear that the silence in here is the only pressure keeping the one-way mirrors formed in this box around me from caving in.

and I've realized that these mirrors face me.
That everyone else can look into the mirror and see me somewhere in their reflection, but, when I look up I don't see anybody, I only see me.